My Life as a Teenage Stoner
by Pyro-Panda
Summary: -Chapter 1- -ShizukaIsis- Shizuka gets given marijuana for her eyesight. Think thats bad enough? Well she asks Otogi for help in the matter! R


**Title: **My Life as a Teenage Stoner

**Author: **Pyro-Panda

**Chapter: **1, Shizuka gets sloshed

**Rating: **PG15

**Author's notes: **I'm not really sure where I came up with this, I just wanted to create something really fun, but I'm a sucker for romance, so there is going to be a little of that.

Chiba:   Isis/Shizuka! Yay!

Pyro:       Yeah… that too… not really sure why I came up with them as a couple, mostly, I was used to everything being boy-boy, so I wanted some girl-girl! And I know Mai/Isis are closer ages, but I donno, they are both way dominate females.

Chiba: Like Yami(Atemu )/Seto. They are both dominate. Can you _really_ see either of them being a uke? I think not. I still love those stories, though. v

Pyro: I'd also love it if you could leave a review. If I don't get over five then I instantly assume it was totally craptacular and there is no point continuing to write.

**Disclaimer:** I claim no rights to _Yu-Gi-Oh_. I am writing this for non-profit so please don't sue me

I also have created this kinda crappy table so you can understand who is who.

**English ======= Japanese ======= I call her/him**

Yugi Moto **===== **Yuugi Mutou **====== **Yugi

Yami Yugi (Pharaoh Atem)** == **Yami no Yuugi (Pharaoh Atemu)** == **Atemu

Téa Gardner** ==== **Anzu Mazaki** ====== **Anzu

Seto Kaiba** ===== **Seto Kaiba** ======= **Seto

Mokuba Kaiba** == **Mokuba Kaiba** ===== **Mokuba

Ishizu Ishtar** ==== **Isis Ishtaaru** ======== **Isis

Marik Ishtar** === **Malik Ishtaaru** ======= **Malik

Yami Marik** === **Yami no Malik** ======= **Yami Malik

Ryou Bakura** == **Ryou Bakura** ======== **Ryou

Yami Bakura** == **Yami no Bakura** ====== **Yami Bakura

Joseph Wheeler** == **Jounouchi Katsuya** === **Jou

Serenity Wheeler** == **Shizuka Katsuya** ==== **Shizuka

Tristan Taylor** ==== **Hiroto Honda** ====== **Honda

Duke Devlin** ===== **Ryuji Otogi** ======= **Otogi

-

Shizuka twitched uncomfortably in the cream coloured seat she sat in. She watched Dr. Kizumo, who's face was currently hidden behind Shizuka's medical reports. She could hear the doctor "Hmm"ing and "Hnn"ing. She also had a habit of clicking her tongue. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Dr. Kizumo put the papers down on her desk. The doctor then straightened the stack, and painfully slow mannor, turned to look at Shizuka.

"Shizuka," the doctor started, "Your progress on your eyes is… pleasing... but not at all fantastic."

Shizuka swallowed a lump in her throat. This was her first check-up since being in the hospital. "I'm not saying things are bad, don't fret darling. What I am saying is you make need to take a little uh…" Dr Kizumo looked around the room, as if trying to avoid Shizuka's eyes. "Just a little more medication. For about a month or two."

"Oh!" Shizuka let out the breath she had been unknowingly holding.

"Now uh, what I'm going to prescribed you is _perfectly legal,_" the lady said, scribbling on a piece of paper.

_'Why would she need to tell me medication is legal?'_ wondered Shizuka.

"I am signing a prescription here, for marijuana."

"MARIJUANA?! AS IN POT?!" Shizuka screamed.

"Please child, SIT DOWN and CALM DOWN. Yes, pot. I believe it will help your eyesight." She scribbled some more. "Now, we can assign you the product, which will be costing about one hundred and fifty dollars a dose, but you have four doses cover for free as a part of your surgery. You do realize however that you cannot deal to other people?" the doctor questioned, deciding her integrity.

"H-hai. I understand."

"Good. Here are the prescription recommendations. Just like any other medication, do not abuse it."

"Hai!"

('-') ('-')

"Big brother I'm home!" Shizuka called. She quickly pinned her prescription to the fridge. All hell would break loose if she lost it.

"Shizuka," Jou smiled and stuck his head around the corner. "How did your check-up go?"

Shizuka didn't know how to explain to her brother that she would be smoking pot for the next two months so she simply pulled out the snappy bag with the buds in it.

"Shizuka what are you doing with weed?!" Jou cried, running and snatching the bag from her hands.

She pointed to the fridge. "It is my new prescription. Look, I ever got a free billy," Shizuka held out the little glass bong for her brother to see.

"Put that away!" he cried, rushing over and closing the blinds. "The last thing we need is to have the neighbors see that! I'm damn lucky I got you into my custody, I'm not having you taken away from me because of nosy neighbors. What were those doctors thinking? Giving pot to a sixteen year old girl!"

"Ahem! I'm _seventeen_ the _three months_," Shizuka snapped.

"All the same. Oh god… How would smoking weed help your eyesight?"

"Well you can always find the Mars Bars I suppose."

('-') ('-')

Shizuka knocked politely on Otogi's front door. When he opened the door, first he seemed shocked, but a huge grin was apparent on his face when he saw Shizuka standing there. "Good morning, Shizuka. Would you like to come in?" Shizuka smiled and walked through the threshold into Otogi's house. "How may I help you?" he asked, leading the way to the formal lounge room, where Shizuka took a seat on a white sofa.

"Otogi..." she looked at him with serine eyes "I am here to ask a favor of you. I've never done this before, but for some strange reason, I have a feeling I could ask it of you, because it wouldn't be your first time." Otogi stared blankly, not sure he was hearing right. "Please don't be offended, and… I haven't told Jou, because if I am right, and you have done this before I don't think he'd appreciate knowing we'd done this together."

Otogi started to get a nose bleed. "You do know what your asking of me right?" he said as he held a tissue to his nose.

Serenity put the bong and snappy bag on the table. "I do."

"Oh… OH!!" Otogi felt embarrassed. All the dirty thoughts that had been going through his head came to a shuddering halt. '_Oh well, at least she is going to smoke up with ME!'_  he thought with a smile. "Of course I'll help. It's for your eyesight right? I've head about this medicinal marijuana thing. I'll be back with a chop bowl and scissors. Do you think we'll need spin? No, actually, I don't think we would, how would tobacco help your eyesight?"

Little question marks appeared around Shizuka's head. "Spin?"

"Otogi put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it."

"I didn't know you smoked!"

"Shizuka. You came here asking me about taking drugs, I thought you would have guessed this of me."

"Uh, yes. I'm sorry. I'm so stupid."

Otogi held her hand and little stars came to his eyes. "No you not. You're amazing."

"Otogi… your cigarette it affecting me that close to my face."

"Oh sorry. Anyways, I'll be back in a second."

When Otogi returned her had a small bowl and a pair of sharp scissors. She also noticed he had his own snappy bag.

"So I was right about you?"

Otogi grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Well, yeah."

Beginning chopping like a pro Otogi made quick work of the buds. "Yikes what's this CRAP the hospital is giving you? Seriously, I could get you a way better deal."

Shizuka scuffed her foot on the carpet. "Well, I got four doses covered by my operation, and I can't really afford to buy any."

"Well come over to my house for your 'doses' cause if this is what they think will fix your eyesight mine will give you fucking x-ray vision!" he finished chopping and began to explain about packing a cone piece. "You are getting a very loosely packed one. And ONE. Say it with me ONE cone."

"One cone."

('-') ('-')

Otogi grinned and passes Shizuka a packet of mars bars.

"How come you get four cones?" she demanded.

"Cause I'm a pro!" Otogi said slapping his chest.

 "You're a diseal mouse," Shizuka teased.

"What the fuck? What in the hell is a diseal mouse?" a confused Otogi asked.

"You are!" the confused girl snapped, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I fucking hate you," Otogi growled, not really meaning a word of it.

"No you don't."

"Yes I don't."

"No you do!"

"Knock knock?" Shizuka piped up brightly.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

"I know, random isn't it?"

Before Otogi could make a response, the phone rang.

"Oh! The phone!" Otogi squealed, reaching onto the coffee table for the white cordless. "Mushi Mushi?"

"Otogi! Hello, It's Jou. Have you seen my sister? She said she was going out for an hour! That was two hours ago!" Jou's panicked voice could be heard through the phone

"Uh, hang on." Otogi said as he moved the phone away from his ear.

"WHAT THE HELL? DON'T 'HANG ON' ME! MY SISTER IS-" Otogi cut Jou's voice off buy putting his hand over the receiver.

"What should I tell him Shizuka?" Otogi asked, freaking.

"Uh… uh…" Shizuka ran to the large gold mirror across the room. "Got eye drops?"

Otogi grinned stupidly. "What kind of stoner do you take me for?" taking a bottle of eye drops out of hammer space (a/n: Hammer space is that magic space where things just appear from no-where)

"Tell him you haven't seen me, but you'll go for a drive to find me."

"Right!" Otogi turned his attention back to the phone, "Jou man? I haven't seen her but I'll go for a drive to find her."

"Please Otogi. I can't lose her. Oh god!! I just got her into my freaking custody!"

Otogi hung up and threw the eye drops at Shizuka, which hit her square in the face, then bounced down onto her chest then falling on the floor. Shizuka growled and pointed at the offending item. "BAD KITTY!"

Otogi nearly wet himself laughing. "Come on Shizuka, onwards to your brother."

"Bad, bad, BAD little kitty!" Otogi grabbed her around the shoulders and she continued to point and glare at the eye drops as he dragged her away.

('-') ('-')

Once in the car, Shizuka tried many times to put the eye drops into her eyes, but failed every time, mostly due to Otogi's driving. "For shits sake Otogi, you drive like Mai!"

"I know, isn't it cool?" he grinned and gave the peace sign.

Shizuka couldn't help but grin. "Keep both fucking hands on the wheel."

Otogi slowed down. "Don't talk like that around your brother." he snapped seriously.

"I –" Shizuka looked at her hands to avoid looking at Otogi.

"I don't say _me_. Just, your brother won't like it. And I don't feel like being to blame for corrupting you."

"I'm not ten years old Otogi!!" she bit. "I'm nearly seventeen."

Silence followed.

After a few more minutes of driving, Shizuka screaming "STOP!!" made Otogi slam on the breaks and pull over.

"What?!" Otogi asked, scared out of his mind.

Shizuka didn't explain but fumbled quickly with the seat belt and jumped out of the car. Otogi called to her, but it fell of deaf ears as he too began to shuffle with seatbelt. As he stepped out of the car he saw Shizuka fly into the arms of a woman in a long white dress.

"ISIS! Shizuka squealed, hugging her Egyptian friend tightly.

"Shizuka," the black-haired girl cooed. For some reason Shizuka blushed. "How are you kawaii no ohime-sama?"

"I, uh…" Shizuka was tongue tied for a moment before managing to spit out, "I good."

"Good to hear, tenshi. You've gotten taller," Isis cocked her head slightly, "and you smell of marijuana."

"Me… I… yes. For my eyesight."

"Shizuka!" cried Otogi, running up to the honey haired girl. "You scared the living fu – Oh. Hi Isis."

"Hello Otogi. What a common aroma around this area."

"We uh…" both Otogi and Shizuka looked at each other stressfully.

Shizuka then blurted out, "I was smoking up at Otogi's cause of my eyesight. Doctors think it will make it better."

"Of course pet," Isis said with an understanding smile, "We have just moved into this house." Isis pointed to the house behind her. "Malik is inside. He is unpacking his things. I got a job at the museum here. We sold a few old family artifacts and decided after living the way we did, we deserve a good life from here on out. Malik needs the sunshine."

"Silence," hissed a male's voice. Looking up, Shizuka eyed off Malik's frame. He had on a pair of loose white pants, a black vest, along with his usual gold cuffs and such.

"What is it about a guy with eyeliner that makes them so hot?" Shizuka whispered under her breath. Otogi caught it and smiled at the thought she meant him.

"Are you done unpacking Malik?" Isis asked with a smile.

"Even if I wasn't, which I am, I would STILL for a ride anyway!" he snapped with his nose in the air, walking over to a black motorcycle.

Shizuka looked at Otogi pitifully, "I'm too out of it to understand all that."

"Uh… Malik is still a cunt."

"Ah."

('-') ('-')

_Shizuka P.O.V_

Isis hung up her phone and brought the cups of coffee out into the living room. "Get sculling girly-girl. Your brother said he'd be over here very quickly. I told him you saw me and helped me move some things inside and lost track of time. Once you're done that you can go upstairs and use the shower. I'll leave some clean clothes and a towel for you."

That was very nice of her to lie for me. However, lending me clothes? "You don't have to give me clothes!"

"It's okay. I have plenty spare. Besides, who wants to have a shower then get in dirty, weed smelling, Otogi-fungus clothing?"

And that was the end of me, as I promptly fell of the couch laughing. "Otogi fungus! Otogi … FUNGUS!" I gasped between giggles.

"Right, upstairs!" Isis snapped, as she ushered me up the stairs with a wave of her hands.

('-') ('-')

I put my face under the shower nozzle and let the warm water wake me up. Running me fingers through my hair, I began to relax. I didn't want to get out, but I had to get sober soon. I turned off the hot water and was blasted with the freezing cold. Goosebumps appeared on my legs and after a few minutes I couldn't stand the cold so I turned on the warm again. After waking up a little, I turned off the taps and left the heat, I stepped onto the straw bath mat. Pulling a fluffy white towel off the towel rack, I began to dry myself. Lifting up the white silk uh, 'thing' Isis gave me. _'I wonder I'm supposed to wear this?' _"ISIS!" I called.

She knocked on the door. I quickly put on my bra and undies. I poked my head out the door. "I need help." I complained.

"Is it the dress?"

"Hai."

"May I come in and help you?"

_NO!_ I instantly thought. _I'm wearing a g-string!!_ "Uh… I'm wearing a g-banger."

"Well I'm not embarrassed but if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"Uh… n-n-no. C-c-come in." I opened the door a little more to let Isis in.

She picked up the white silk. "Now… lift your arms." She slipped the silk under my arms, over my shoulder, I missed most of it though, too busy feeling her flingers and silk slide over my body. My face turned beet red.

('-') ('-')

_Normal P.O.V_

Otogi waited downstairs, but when he saw Shizuka descend the stairs in a white robe his heart caught in his throat. "Wow Shizuka…"

Shizuka blushed and made her way to the bottom. "I should dress you in full Egyptian style," Isis sighed dreamily, "the gold would look so pretty with your eyes. However, in Ancient Egypt everyone dyed their hair black. You still look nice though."

"Don't butter her up Isis," snapped Malik, stepping into the house.

"I didn't here you return, brother," Isis greeted.

"Hnn," Malik looked Shizuka up and down, "You look like my sister."

"So that's…?" asked Shizuka.

"Not a terrible thing."

"I think you look HOT!" blurted out Otogi, who then blushed and sat back in his seat.

"WHAT did you just say about my sister?!" demanded and enraged Jou.

"That also implied you thought MY SISTER was hot, Otogi!"

Otogi turned around, scared out of his wits as two enraged teen boys got up in his face, ready to draw blood.

"Wholly shit. Hello Jou!!" Otogi managed to squeak out.


End file.
